Unforgiveness is a blight on humankind, destroying our relationship with God and with people He loves. It breaks relationships and causes disharmony, bitterness, anger, and hatred. It destroys marriages, and churches, and renders elected representatives incapable of working together effectively for the good of the people. It continues to lead to feuds, murders, and wars. God has made it very clear that we are to forgive those who have offended or hurt us.
God has provided His Son, Jesus Christ, as a means for His forgiveness of our wrongdoings against Him—it is called sin. To those who believe in Jesus and trust in Him for forgiveness, God forgives us and we are reconciled to Him (see Acts 26:18; 1 Thessalonians 5:9-10, Hebrews 8:12). In turn, God calls those He has forgiven through Jesus Christ to forgive others (see Matthew 18:21-22, 35; Mark 11:25-26; Luke 6:37; Ephesians 4:32; Colossians 3:13).
No Limit
The Apostle Peter thought there must be a limit to how often he must forgive others, and he asked Jesus about it. Peter is like all of us. He was willing to do the minimum and wanted a number. If someone offended him beyond that number, forgiveness wasn’t happening. He proposed to Jesus seven times would be reasonable and sufficient. Jesus answered him, “Up to seventy times seven” (see Matthew 18:21-22). I rather suspect Peter got the point. There was no limit on the call to forgive. In the Lord’s Prayer Jesus taught the disciples there was just one requirement for the person praying—forgive others (see Matthew 6:12). He warned the disciples if they did not forgive others, they would not be forgiven by God (see Matthew 6:14-15).
The causes for unforgiveness include a desire for fairness and justice, lack of trust in God, pride, or absence of contrition in the offender. Actions that hurt or offend range from mild to severe grievances. Forgiveness is not something that we pull ourselves up by the bootstraps to do—it requires a heart transformed by God’s Spirit. Through forgiveness, the offended person can let go of the hurt and release the person from anger, bitterness, thoughts of revenge, or vengeance.
There is a misunderstanding about what forgiveness is and what it is not. Forgiveness does not condone the offender’s action or infer their actions were justified. Forgiveness may but does not necessarily lead to reconciliation. It neither abandons pursuit of civil justice nor represents a judicial pardon by God.
In the 1960s, a popular slogan was, “Don’t get mad, get even.” That is not God’s intention for His image-bearers. It is the way of the world. The way of God is to forgive others the small debts they incur against you, for you have been forgiven a great debt by God.